Archive for the ‘Limiting Beliefs’ Category

Top 5 Reasons Why You Need A Coach

Written by Kate • August 4, 2011 •

Christine Kane and Kate Allen at Uplevel Your Purpose

Although it may seem self-serving in that I am a Life Coach myself, working with Women to Step into a Life Filled with Delight, I truly believe that a coach is essential to getting you to the next level of expertise, of mindset, and of ability- in whatever you’re trying to achieve. I believe in it so much that I myself have a Business Coach.  I have been working with Christine Kane for over a year now, on my mindset and on building my business up to the next level.  [This picture is of Christine and me at her recent Uplevel Your Purpose Conference, a mind-blowing, impactful three days we spent last week in Charlotte, NC).

I have had coaches in other areas of my life, such as exercise, food, and nutrition. It has helped me get to the next level of competence and has, in general, been worth every penny. I have a Zone of Genius and they have theirs.

The following are 5 reasons why I think pretty much everyone needs a coach.

  1. You can’t  fix your problems with the same mindset that created them. As Einstein is believed to have said” “The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.” Therefore, if you continue down the same old path you have been, you’re going to continue to get to the same end results.  A coach helps you see the limiting beliefs you have and the mindset that helped create the life situation you have created for yourself.  I have experienced many more A-Has with Christine about some of my own beliefs that I probably would not have discovered without her coaching.
  2. You’ve been trying for years but nothing seems to be working. Also known as “I don’t need help. I can do it on my own”. Perhaps you don’t NEED help and perhaps you CAN do it on your own. But are you? Have you gotten the results you’re looking for? Are you living the life you dreamed of? Are you following your bliss? The hard facts are that unless you are you’re living or close to achieving a lot in life that you’ve intended, you could use someone to help motivate you and to keep you focused.
  3. You Think You Already Know This Stuff. As Christine says the Buddha said, if you’re not living it, you don’t really know it. If you really already knew this stuff, you’d be living it. Professional athletes have coaches. Executives have coaches. When you want to learn a new skill, like playing the piano or learning a new language, you turn to an expert, right? Well, it’s the same with intangibles, like success, financial management, marketing, and search engine optimization. There are true experts out there who can help you leap frog over the learning curve and give you access to pre-vetted resources that will more than likely be immeasurably of help to you.
  4. You Think You Don’t Have the Time. This is a big one. If you think you don’t have the time, have you checked out what you’re spending your time on? Do you really know? If you mapped out your day, how much of it is spent in front of the TV, surfing the internet looking at, Facebook, and your emails? And how much of the weekend is spent on activities that can actually be delegated, skipped, or bunched together? A coach can help hold up the mirror you need to see your life as it really is so you can free yourself from time sinks that are keeping you off your purposeful path.
  5. You Don’t Know What You Want To Be When You Grow Up. Even if you don’t know where to begin on getting you the skills and life you want, your coach will. If you’re just not the best manager, if your life makes you depressed and you no longer have any idea what makes you happy, if you want to take your business to the next level and are so tired of treading the same ground month after month, all with the same results, working with someone to help you re-focus, re-strategize, and re-energize is exactly what you need. Your coach is going to be able to help you start to understand what it is you need to get you to the next step.

It doesn’t have to be me. But use the resources that are out there.  Take advantage of the knowledge gained by someone who has been there and done that to help you rapidly increase your expertise and knowledge. We can all use some help to keep us on track, motivated, and with our eyes on the prize.


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How Do You Know When You’ve Succeeded?

Written by Kate • April 22, 2011 •
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Do you know how to succeed? And when you’ve succeeded? Or is life just a long list of tasks to check off?

There’s a whole other blog in these questions about your beliefs which translate into action which translates into results. But that’s another blog for another day.

Today I’m talking about knowing when you’ve succeeded, when you’ve turned a corner and realize that you’re the new you you’ve be trying to be.  It’s easy to know when you’ve succeeded at the Big Goals that are easily measured. I’ve just lost 10 pounds. I just made my first $1,000 in my new business. I have my first five clients. Easy to define, measurable.
But for those goals that are harder to measure, that are as easy to define- how do you measure success? For example, you want to become a person who meditates every day.  This seems like something you can measure- did I or did I not meditate today?

But it’s the rare person who makes a new goal in life that requires a daily change and success 100% out of the gate. And what a high measuring stick. Failure is nearly guaranteed when measured like this.

Plan It but with Compassion
Instead, you have several choices on how you begin to implement a new habit. The best way is with a plan, with compassion so you’re not killing yourself, and by applying measurable progress any way you can.

Figure out what you want to achieve -while making it a realistically achievable goal- and map out how you’re going to accomplish over the next day, week, month, quarter, six months, etc- how long will it take?

And then take the time to review your plan both against what you’ve actually accomplished as well as against reality- against which no plan ever survives!

Meditation Example
With the meditating example, you can start week one out with a plan to meditate three times, week two four times a week, week three five times a week, and so. Make sure you know the time you’ll meditate, clear that time out on your calendar.  What will you do if you can’t meditate at that time? What’s your fall back position?

Of course, another option is to meditate every day at the same time for 21 or 30 days to establish the habit.

Measure It and Celebrate It
The important part of changing any habit, besides implementing the new activity, is to celebrate it. You’ve meditated today. Awesome!! You meditated this entire week. Job really well done! What a huge accomplishment.

By celebrating our accomplishments, we acknowledge the little changes we are currently make which make a huge change in the trajectory of our life. Inertia and habit are so very difficult to overcome that it’s best to do what you can to move past these powerful forces in your life. And remembering to acknowledge these new activities helps to make them a habit.

Remember to Celebrate Crossing Off Tasks on Your List
I bring up the meditation example because it was a goal of mine, along with exercise at least six days a week. [I’ve been exercising at least four or five days a week most weeks of the year for the last umpteen years so the six days a week is achievable for me.]

I didn’t come up with a plan besides putting meditation and exercise on my To Do List every day. I tried meditating first – the RPM model – rise, pee, meditate and then exercising. But that just did not work. So I moved to working out first, then coming home, then showering, then meditating. That stuck.  For four weeks, I exercised and meditated every day – well six days per week with the exercise. And it became a new habit so I dropped it off my to do list and added additional tasks to the list.

And then it started to feel like I could never accomplish anything, that life was just a long series of things to accomplish, and that the task of making myself and the planet better WAS NEVER GOING TO END. And I, of course, got discouraged. But I caught myself with this line of thinking and saw where I was heading if I kept those beliefs. I realized that if I never set up a measuring stick for my habits, I would never know when I had succeeded and life is just a long list of tasks to complete.

I had gone from a person who couldn’t sit for eight minutes at a time without feeling totally hostile to sitting one to two times a day for twenty minutes in silence and coming out of it in a calm, peaceful place. I exercised six times a week for four weeks, something I hadn’t been able to accomplish for four weeks in more years than I care to count.

And what did I do to celebrate these huge accomplishments? I dropped them off the list and added new tasks to accomplish. That’s it.

I can see future accomplishments:

1. Climb a mountain. -Done. Now climb Everest.
2. Run a half marathon. -Done. Now run a marathon.

And on and on and on. But I can see that I wouldn’t actually be able to achieve those accomplishments with a list checking mentality like that. Even successfully achieving huge goals like that would become just one more thing on the list. Before long, you may be finding that the list and the goals are arduous, soul draining activities that you seek to avoid through doing other, non-essential activities or activities that let you check out of your joyless, pleasureless life – like over eating, having a few drinks, or watching TV.

Joy and Pleasure Through Success
Define what success is. Acknowledge and celebrate when you’ve achieved it. Don’t let it be just a check mark on a to do list. Celebrate the mini victories that will turn into the larger victories. Remember that it’s a joy to accomplish what you’ve set out to do and by measuring and celebrating these successes, you can have the joy and pleasure you always meant to have by accomplishing your Big [and little] Goals.

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The Work of Byron Katie

Written by Kate • September 1, 2010 •
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I’ve just discovered the work of Byron Katie and can I say “Wow”. What a revelation!  I spent a good part of Saturday and Sunday this past weekend just consuming her book and then the videos on her website.  Katie, as she is known, carefully and lovingly takes apart limiting beliefs point by point and helps you to see the absurdity of it all.  I highly recommend it checking it out. I’ve just downloaded her second book, A Thousand Name for Joy, and I’ll be happily commuting for several days.

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