Archive for the ‘Meditation’ Category

Nothing You Do Will Fill The Empty Hole in Your Heart

Written by Kate • May 12, 2020 •
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The River Flowing Through the Rocks- Watkins Glen

I, like most other people, search here and there, near and far for something, ANYTHING to fill that hole in my heart. You may not yet be acquainted with that hole but it’s there. It’s the one that tells you need to be richer, thinner, more successful, striving, in a relationship, married, divorced, a parent, highly educated, or anything other thing that will make you better, make you different than you are now.

But all of that is a lie. The hole in your heart will not ever be filled by anything you do to fill it. And that’s why you’re over drinking, over eating, over spending, or on social media too much, doing anything that gives you some relief from that message that you’re not enough right now, as you are.

You are all you’ll ever be and and anything you’ve ever wanted to be is already inside of you. Now is the time to stop trying to fix yourself. There is nothing you have to “DO”. Instead, it’s time to be. Be yourself. Be present.

Be aware of the hole in your heart that is yours to heal through simple awareness of it and presence.

Be. Here. Now. There is no future that will heal you and no past that wounds you. Just timeless presence to what is right now.

Practice that for long enough and all the thoughts you have about being better and the utter suffering that arises from that will simply vanish. It will be replaced by boundless joy for longer and longer moments.

Stop doing. Start being.

Noticing How You Handle Discomfort

Written by Kate • May 4, 2020 •
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Crab under rock at high tide- Nusa Penida

Have you ever noticed what your habits are in regards to discomfort? The first time I was asked to think on my relationship and habits with discomfort, I was in a yoga class with a really gifted teacher, Nadine McNeil. She had us in a position where we started out in child’s pose and then had us move our arms into prayer position above our head, but on a block in front of us- if you can imagine that. It was intensely uncomfortable on my triceps and shoulders and after just a few moments, I wanted to move away from the pose. Nadine told us then that it was incredibly uncomfortable but it was an important pose for flexibility and asked us to use the moment to reflect on our habits in regards to discomfort.

I’ve often asked myself this questions in the months since. This morning during my meditation session, my shoulder, hips, and ankles were protesting about staying in the meditation pose. I nearly quit but then I remembered to ask myself about my commitment and my ability to endure discomfort (not pain!) to get to my goal. And so I stayed meditating and not surprisingly, when I recommitted to my meditation practice and told myself it was just 20 more minutes, most of my aches went away. I was able to easily make it another 13 minutes before sensations of discomfort again arose. And then it was just 7 more minutes and then it was done.

Revealing My Blindspots

I love it when my everyday life awakens me to habits and thoughts that have been mostly unconscious to me. In this case, meditation for over an hour is important to me because my meditation practice really deepens after about 45 minutes so the remaining 35 minutes are much more peaceful and centered than the swirling maelstrom of thoughts and idea of the initial 45 minutes.I want that more than I want to stop the discomfort of the moment.

Our Primitive Brain’s Message

Often our primitive brain wants use to move away from discomfort. It’s in the driver’s seat when we’re not present and shining the light of consciousness on our every day acts. It’s one of our primitive brain’s purpose- to keep us safe. But without experiencing discomfort (not pain!), we don’t grow. We never get out of our comfort zone and we never really can master anything new without experience some initial discomfort- right up until it becomes our new normal.

Start Noticing Today

Start noticing how automatic it’s become to move away from any discomfort, physical or mental. Notice it without judgement. And then begin to lean into the discomfort, little by little. Soon enough, it’ll be your new normal and you can uplevel your baseline.

Some resources during Lockdown- #coronavirus

Written by Kate • April 10, 2020 •
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Ganesha in the garden with koi pond
2nd class at the Yoga Barn, with Malika

Here are some great resources for you during lockdown. If you’ve been reading my posts, then you know I love yoga. And I was going to yoga classes 6 days a week before the lockdown. Now that I’m helping to flatten the curve, I’m at home and trying to keep up with some of my favorite things to do.

Below are some yoga and exercise ideas for your physical health. Following those suggestions, I’ve posted some great mental health workout options.

[Note: I have no affiliation with my recommendations in that I don’t get a kickback or any profit from my recommendations. I just love them and want to share]

YOGA

The Yoga Barn in Ubud, Bali has been shut down because they are in lock down and no foreigners are permitted entry to the island. So they’ve gone online. Some really great videos of yin, vinyasa flow, and power yoga that are about 45 minutes long. Highly recommend all of their work. Here is a link to the FB videos. Their work is being provided by donation.

From the Yoga Barn, Daniela Garza Rios is an amazing teacher. She has a few 75 minute classes. Also an amazing teacher. Her work is being provided by donation.

My friend Angie at Honestly Yoga also has some great yoga classes on YouTube. Check her out too. (Free!)

And my teacher, Sue Miller, also has really great classes. Love her!

I also really enjoy the Down Dog app. I would recommend it too. They are free until 1 May.

EXERCISE

Best Overall App

I’ve tried several of the pilates apps and I’m just not there yet, given my pelvic injuries so I need more basic apps. I find FitOn to be the best for me. It’s got HIIT, Pilates, Yoga, Barre and more. Love it. Free app.

Pushups

I also intend to be able to do 100 pushups so I’ve download this app for that. Right now I’m doing knee pushups but I’m hoping to be moving to full pushups in a few weeks. Then I’ll start over and do 100 full pushups, as my goal. Three days a week. Why not get strong?! $2.99 for the full app. Essentially free.

MENTAL HEALTH

I really love Brooke Castillo’s no nonsense approach, mixed as it with love and compassion for your suffering. Definitely check out her podcasts. Great stuff. She dropped several podcasts specifically for the corona virus situations and they were uplifting and awesome. Her podcasts are free.

As usual, Martha is amazing and inspiring and I always recommend her stuff as well. She has a great video series on Facebook for you to watch, to help with your mental health during this trying time. Her videos are free.

My friend, Scott Clover, is a really talented intuitive energy healer if you could use some additional, personal attention. I highly recommend one of his sessions for healing. He’s helped me a great deal. Absolutely worth it.

What do you love? What would you recommend? I’m especially looking for some great barre or pilates apps that provide classes of various length for beginner to intermediate users.

How To Establish a Meditation Space

Written by Kate • April 3, 2020 •
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My Meditation Room
Sawyer- Resting in Stillness

I live way out in the country in western, northern Virginia on 6 acres where it’s so quiet and still. On the one hand, I love it for myself. But since my children have arrived, I would like closer neighbors so they can run out and hang out easily. Still, during this lockdown I feel so grateful for all our space for them to run around in the sun.

I’ve been sure to keep my meditation practice consistent, despite the rare times when I don’t feel like it. I’m currently on a 70+ day consecutive meditation stretch. It’s a priority right now, to help me center myself and reconnect with Divine everyday. I get grounded and I’m a better human, partner, parent, and mentor to my clients.

Some days when my kids wake up extra early, they find me at the tail end of my mediation session. My son has lately taken to lying down with me in my lap (they’re 5 years old) and it’s clear he enjoys the stillness and the quiet time too.

Today, while I writing this, long after my morning meditation time, he asked to come in and rest on my meditation mat. I lit the candles for him to enjoy but he’s 5 and he blew them out after playing with his breath on them after a bit. But then he laid down and snuggled in and just rested in the silence. I love seeing him recharge in the quiet, just being still. Makes this mama’s heart explode with joy that he’s taking the time to be.

So I wanted to share with you my thoughts on creating a meditation space and some lessons learned.

My Experience

First is that we have a large house and I actually created what I call my zen room. It’s my space and no one gets to hang out in here except with my permission. I love to have that space.

I know that’s not practical for many people so I recommend trying to find even a corner of a room that you can set up with some sort of altar and candles and other artifacts that bring you joy. For me, in addition to my Buddha and candles on my altar, all of my favorite pieces from my travels are here.

My meditation room – with cushion and altar

It brings me such joy to see them and I love them after all these years. Near my altar, I have my green and yellow batik from Zimbabwe, my apsara from Cambodia, a framed picture from my walking trip to Ireland, a replica of a window from one of my trips to Nepal, and two antelope statues, chiwaras, from a trip to Mali.

What I’ve put behind me on the opposite wall also supports my joy. I have a framed picture from Haiti, a peacock from India, some pieces like carved tusks of twins from my time as a Peace Corps volunteer in Benin, some pieces of blanket from Niger, a martini pitcher from my maternal grandparents that was passed to me upon my Mom’s death, a canister from another trip to Nepal, and another bust of the Buddha- again from my trip to Cambodia.

Some of my cherished pieces
My meditation room – the wall behind me

I also have a desk and a computer in here. I do use the desk for journaling and working on this business. Originally when we moved here, I used to work in this room (back when I was still at a J O B) but I found the more job work I did here, the less sacred this room became. I found other places in the house to work and that really boosted my sense of the sacred every time I enter this room.

In fact, I no longer wear any shoes in this room because it just feels wrong. And I ask everyone to take their shoes off before entering as well. It just feels too special for me to have anyone, including me, to treat it as anything else.

My How-To Ideas on Setting up a Meditation Space

Choose the Space

Set up a space that is solely devoted to your meditation, journaling and other activities that are devoted to establishing and maintaining your connection with the Divine, to centering, and to grounding you.

If you have young children like I do, you’ll have to enforce the notion that this space is just for you hundreds of time. But soon enough, with you setting consistent boundaries, they will be respected.

Set up the Altar and Choose Items that Help You Connect

I ordered a two-tiered altar on Etsy. On the top tier, I have a small statue of the Buddha, that I also got on Etsy. I have two candles with beautiful candles holder plates. On the bottom tier, I have an incense box that I used to light incense in during my meditation sessions. Since returning from Bali a few months ago, I can’t burn the incense because it bothers my lungs. I also have a prayer wheel from a trip to Nepal and looking at it gives me a zing of a connection to the Divine.

I likely will be getting a devotional candle of some sort of Christian theme soon because my issues with the Church seem to have resolved and I’m getting back to a deep love and devotion to the Christ.

You can also put items from your vision board or other inspirational items, like a picture of a child if you’re trying to get pregnant or something that represents abundance to you, like money, pictures of money, a waterfall or anything that really speaks to you. Other ideas include pictures to help you be peaceful, such as the ocean, open vistas, or whatever speaks to you.

Keep the Room In Use for Just Your Meditation and other Soulful Activities

As I mentioned, in using this room for work for a short time, the energy of the room shifted and it no longer felt inviting or sacred. Once I noticed the feeling and correctly diagnosed the issue, I keep the room solely for my soul work. (see what I did there?)

Use it!

Of course, you should use it and keep coming back to your meditation practice no matter the stories your mind is telling you about whether or not you “feel” like it or that it’s not fun or maybe that meditation isn’t working for you. It is. Trust the process and get still and silent and allow whatever is arise and fall away and arise and fall away. I like the app Insight Timer to track my meditation sessions both in terms of being a timer as well as number of sessions and other stats. But there are many out there so you may find something else works for you.

What does your meditation room look like? What’s on your altar? I’d love to see pictures for inspiration!

Using the Lockdown for your advantage- How to Set and Keep A Goal –

Written by Kate • March 30, 2020 •
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I recently read a post on FB about how now is not the time to keep exercising or learning how to play an instrument, because of anxiety and stress about the coronavirus.

This is, of course, a perfectly valid way to live your life. Give your brain free rein and let it freak you out and hijack how you spend your days. Living in fear, passing on fear to others, and making decisions out of fear (or stress or anxiety).

Or you can clean up your mental hygiene and give yourself permission to not freak out or indulge in your anxiety, even if the REST OF THE WORLD IS.

You simply (simple but perhaps hard to do) change your thinking about the situation. Rather than stress about what you can’t control, allow your mind to tell you what it fears, acknowledge that, and then consciously search out the opposite of the fears of what your brain is telling you. For example, you can say that the economy is tanking and global recession and job loss – feeling the total fear and anxiety from this. You can then look at where there are bright spots; government stimulus, grocery stores and online businesses doing really well. People able to continue working at home, helping neighbors, and more.

You Have 30 (or 60?) Days. What Will You Do With It

You have 30+ more days of this lock down. Do you really want to stress out and over eat and over drink to manage your anxiety? Or do you want to maybe come out of the lockdown with the ability to play the piano? Or having lost 8 lbs? Or having read your full reading list? Or having all of your closets organized and your house finally deep cleaned?

After spending a week coming to terms with our new reality and allowing myself to freak out a bit and come up with a new normal, I’m excited about all that I can accomplish over the next month. I personally have set my goals and I’m looking forward to working on a bit of them each day, until the 30 days is up.

Anxiety Gets You Nowhere

Anxiety will keep your brain laser focused on all the threats outside. Update your thinking by updating your thoughts, whatever that looks like for you. All you have in your control are your thoughts about your circumstances. Get excited about how you can use this opportunity for changing habits and updating behavior.

Set Your Goal

To make it easier, come up with one goal for the next 30 days. Because it’s easy and measurable, I will use the example of weight loss. Many of us are over eating right now, unable to get to the gym or our yoga class, and the fridge is RIGHT THERE every day all day. So you’ve got 30 days, or 4.25 weeks. That’s say, an 8 lbs weight loss for the month. Or you can organize all your closets this month. You’ve got 8 (or 5 or 12) closets, that means two per week of it’s 8 closets.

How to Set and Keep Your Goal

Set out your measurable goal. Break it down into bite sized tasks (no pun intended).

If it’s weight loss, what is your plan of attack? Will you be reducing your carbs? Will you be using intermittent fasting to kick start your weight loss? Get specifics what what will change. Then plan for tomorrow. If you’re doing IF (which I do), plan for your window opening and closing tomorrow and stick with it. Plan your meals (and for your family’s if applicable).

If it’s your closets, look at your closets and really catalogue mentally what’s in there . Allow your brain to start working out what should go and what should stay. Allow your brain to work on how to solve what you’ll do with the stuff that needs to go. Will you trash it? Will you put it in the garage to give away? When do you have time to start organizing? Two per weekend? 1 hour per day? Let you brain loose.

Use visualization each morning and night to keep you motivated and focused. Really imagine the scale at the end of the month showing you the new weight. Feel your body and how much better you sleep and how much looser your clothes will be. Really get into it and allow yourself to feel the buzz. Your brain will get to work while you sleep, helping you come up with ways to solve this puzzle.

Think of the closets and how much lighter you’ll feel being able to use the closets quickly and easily and that you’re no longer burdened with items you don’t want. Picture them as complete neat and tidy. Again, your brain will get to work while you sleep, helping you come up with ways to solve this puzzle.

Keep Changing Your Thoughts to Those That Serve You

If your brain comes up with something about how you can’t get it done, notice your thoughts and upgrade the thought. Allow it to be and allow it yourself to acknowledge it as it really it. And then change the thought to one that will serve and empower you, allowing you to feel better.

Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat. You have 30 days to use. Use them to serve you.

And then do the work. Open and close your IF window. Use the weekend to clean your closets. No excuse. Just do it. It’s 30 days.

You got this!