Posts Tagged ‘Divine Beloved’

Drinking Booze and a Connection to the Divine #Coronavirus Thoughts

Written by Kate • April 24, 2020 •
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One of the bllions of capiroskas I've consumed in my life
A drink at sunset in Lovina, Bali.

Earlier this year, from Dec 29 (of last year) to Feb 22nd, I gave up alcohol for a month.

I wasn’t a heavy drinker but I was drinking a minimum of 5 days a week and often 7 days a week. Mostly wine because the hard stuff is too strong for me but drank fruity drinks like cosmos or capiroskas. I spent two months in late 2019 in France so I had a lot of new wine to sample and it was simply delish. Their chenin blancs- wow. And the price! But I digress.

I gave it up for a month because I knew I needed to. I know drinking that much isn’t good for anyone, no matter how much people spin the resveratrol and all the hype.

And it was amazing. I learned so much about my habits about booze – when I’m out eating, have a drink! When I’m socializing, have a drink! When I’m feeling frazzled, have a drink!

But once I gave it up, I faced my habits and I had to feel my feelings rather than have a drink to take the edge off. Mind blowingly awesome to have given myself this experience. I also wasn’t as dehydrated as I had been. I slept better. My hormones felt more settled and I was happier.

But the biggest boost from this time is the absolutely huge amount of creativity that stirred in me and started to flow through me. I had so many ideas and new thoughts and my connection to the Divine, to Source, to God just lit up. My morning visualizations were turbo charged and my connection fairly sizzled throughout my abstinence. Wow, what a launch to the year.

And then in late February after some 6 or so weeks, I decided to have a drink again while I was out waiting for the kids to finish their yoga class. And then just boom, I was drinking again and by mid March, with the coronavirus/COVID-19 lockdown, I was drinking most days again.

My connection to the Divine was strained. My morning visualizations just fizzled. I felt so blocked and I haven’t blogged in a few weeks because I no longer felt any creativity. The connection felt muffled and I could simply not get through.

It took me a while to make the connection but I realized that the only real difference between January and now was the booze. I asked a friend of mine, a really gifted intuitive energy healer- Scott Clover– and he confirmed the reality for him too that drinking alcohol definitely affects his connection for the worse.

And so I’ve given it up again. This time it’s not for a certain length of time although I’ve made the commitment to check in again with me to redecide on 1 July.

I feel so much better. First, I’ve lost some weight I gained in the last month. I’m again less dehydrated. I sleep better. I have the time and more energy to do other things. And my connection is getting super charged again and I’m getting so many creative ideas again. I’m feeling super grateful.

One thing I noticed about drinking is that at a certain point, your time and energy is about drinking, making sure that you have the space and the time to drink. But once you don’t put any energy into drinking, there is so much more to do and so much energy to do it with.

I highly recommend trying it. See what’s under the covers of your life, without the blanket that is your mind on booze.

Lessons from the Lockdown- Coronavirus

Written by Kate • April 9, 2020 •
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Stopping to smell the flowers- Orchids at Changi airport

Life has slowed waaaaaaaay down since we first went into lockdown, about 4 weeks ago. At first it was disorienting, not going about my normal routine. No rushing about to take the kids to the park. No yelling. No more willpower to get the kids dressed and out the door. No more scheduling hassles. No more rushing about to visit my ill Dad. No more potential school visits. No doctor visits. Essentially no more rushing.

The first thing I noticed about this new normal is that I had time to plan and make dinner every night. I could defrost the meat or adapt the meal plan so that I could use up leftovers. No more eating out because I didn’t have time to prepare a meal. That was incredibly nice and feels like a healthy change.

I also dropped the stress of rushing about, making sure I met all our obligations in terms of visiting and getting out and checking all the boxes for the kids (sunshine- check, playgrounds and appropriate sensory inputs to help with their motor development – check, going to playgrounds so the kids could hang out with other kids- check).

That felt good, to drop that stress. Of course, I picked up a different kind of stress around running my business – will this change affect my clients? will it affect my partner’s business? what about all my people? what about the world? But I remembered what is in my control and and what isn’t and I remembered to breathe and let go of trying to control the world. Ahhh, better.

And now, my world is starting to really slow down. I’m putting my phone down. I’m just being. I’m logging on less. I don’t want to connect so much in impersonal ways. I’m reaching out to friends because I have the TIME, which I already had, but I chose to spend it rushing about, stressing about getting it all done.

In Martha Beck‘s great book, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World, she talks about dropping into Wordlessness. Not dreaming about the future or remembering the past. Just being here, without thinking, feeling something that approaches joy.

And with Kyle Cease‘s book, The Illusion of Money: Why Chasing Money is Stopping You From Receiving It, it’s clear to me now just how much I was doing out of a sense of obligation, from a place where I was going through life doing certain things because it’s what I should be doing. How I was pushing myself from the outside in rather than feeling my way through actually living from a place of joy.

I know people are suffering during this time, from the isolation, loss of income, illness and death. This is true. What is also true is that we can also find the unexpected gifts in such crises. I’m choosing to find the lessons, the places where I can grow from the unexpected, from the pain.

I’ve slowed waaaaaaaay down. And I’m loving it.

What Are You Reading- On the Bookshelf

Written by Kate • March 31, 2020 •
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I have some time these days, during our Covid19 lockdown. Not that much more than I did before, given I’m taking care of 5 year old twins. But there is some time now that the kids can entertain themselves so I’m catching up on some oldies but goodies.

I have a friend, Hema, who posted at the beginning of this year that she intends to go deep on all her programs and books rather than wider and keep buying new books and spreading herself too thin.

I think this is a great idea. I’ve spent a great deal of money on programs and books I haven’t finished. So I too am finally starting (and finishing!) books that have long been on my bookshelf or my Kindle.

The one I’m reading right now is the Dark Side of the Light Chasers by Debbie Ford. In the past, I might have read the book but not done the exercises. Now, I’m chapter 6 of 10 and I’ve actually done the previous chapters’ exercises. It’s been enlightening.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I do pray daily to have the veil lifted from my eyes so that I can know the truth and be shown my blind spots. So this book is extremely helpful already, just half way through,in illuminating the way I’m denying my shadow self and rejecting and fiercely judging those who exhibit my shadow self. I love what the exercises are showing me.

Two things she said helped me really visualize the deepening process.

1 – she said that we are like castles and we have many hundreds or even thousands of rooms in ourselves. As children, we have no shame about these rooms whether they’re hateful, childish, loving, mean, funny, joyful, or selfish. We just are. And then the people in our lives tell us that some aspect of ourself is wrong and unacceptable. To survive, we turn off the light and lock the door to that room. As we age, we forget that we even had that room and hide the key. Like taking a coin when we were young and hide it. We wouldn’t remember where we had left if 30 years later, or even that we’d done it.

She quotes Gunther Bernard, “we choose to forget who we are and then forget we’ve forgotten”.

I did the exercise for the chapter and I could feel the rooms light up. Not that I know them yet but I could see and feel the lights flicker on- through the suggested visualization. Very cool. I love breakthroughs.

2- if you spot it, you’ve got it. I’m paraphrasing here, but she points out that if something really bothers us in someone else, it’s because we hate that about us. She gives a great visual that it’s like our chest is giant space for electrical outlets. For aspects of ourself that we’ve integrated, there is no charge when we ponder the concept of how the other person is acting. But for things we despise in others, it’s like there is a cord that plugs directly into our chest and we get an electrical surge whenever we think on this attribute or ponder the person.

Through her exercises, I am able to see that I’m all the things I’ve spotted and judged in others. And it’s so clear through her exercises.

I also see that the things are I truly admire in others are the flip side. I also have those qualities and attributes in myself.

I highly recommend her book and doing the exercises. You likely will find it quite illuminating to your shadow self (see what I did there? ROFL).

A Few Ways to Make Self Isolation Work For You- Being At Home During the Coronavirus COVID-19

Written by Kate • March 24, 2020 •
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After a week of two of freaking out and moving from that to acceptance, I think a healthy next step is to look at what good can come of being isolated and at home. I know that for some this means a total loss of income and for other this means a total loss of cherished routines, connection, space from children and partners, and so much more. Yes, there is often much loss going on right now. But there can and should be some good things that can come from this.

I think you can look at the next 30 days (Virginia just implemented a 30 day lock down so I’m going to use that as an example). I’ve personally be social distancing for nearly two weeks already so this will be about 7 weeks of social distancing. Gulp.

#1 – Stop feeding your mind with scenarios of doom, virus statistics, and negative input without also consciously feeding it an equal amount of uplifting and positive input to help you maintain your mental health.

Of course you’re going to want to stay connected to what’s going on. But if you spend an hour on FB or Insta and an hour researching the daily statistics, then you’ll also need to spend two hours on positive input. That’s four hours a day which is nearly impossible so cut out the time you’re spending researching the doom and gloom and on social media. Instead, cut it down to one hour and then spend one hour a day on the positive angle. I suggest spending a half hour a day listening to Brooke Castillo’s podcasts where she’s helping put what’s happening into perspective through describing what the brain does in times of danger and stress and ways to reframe the problem. Highly recommend! Then find another 30 minutes of uplifting content, from Marie Forleo to Martha Beck to sitting in meditation and quieting your mind.

You can also plug into the Mystery and the Divine for 30 minutes or longer using the techniques I wrote about in this post. All of it will help your mind from going all flight or fight on you.

#2 – Set up a goal for the next 30 days that you want to accomplish.

For me, I’ve decided that because I can no longer head out and do my daily yoga, I will use this next 30 days to build up my home practice.

I’ll be honest in that, although I’ve spent years practicing yoga, I don’t actually have any of the pose sequences memorized. I just rely on my teachers to guide me and keep me moving. But now, I’m going to learn a 90 minute sequence by heart so that I can have the sequences memorized when I return to group classes when this ends. I’ll start with surya namaskara A, then B, then C (the sun salutations), then some balancing poses, some stretching poses and end with shivasana.

I love balancing half moon and wounded deer poses so I’ll be sure those and some of my faves and my least faves are included.

I have some old injuries and I’m going to add in some strengthening routines so I can strengthen and stretch my core muscles, including my core, my psoas, my hip flexors. A recent visit to a physical therapist revealed that I haven’t been engaging my transverse abdonminis muscle (TVA) so I’m going to slow down with my yoga and exercise routines to ensure I’m engaging my TVA.

I’m also going to prioritize ensuring healthy eating habits because I know that I have a tendency to eat out of stress and boredom. So even if I don’t lose any weight over the next month, I can at least not gain weight.

#3- Notice What Habits and Mindsets You Have That No Longer Serve You

So I’ve begun to dig into the positives that can be revealed by this time of slowing down. I see how much I’ve rushed around in my life trying to get the kids here, this shopping done there, and meet self-imposed deadlines. And none of it was required. I see that even when this is over I can slow down and let some of the busy-ness go.

What have you noticed about your life that you can see changing?

Yes, this quarantine can have some positive outcomes too, (besides the health one).

Hugs to us all.

Your Brain on Social Media (especially during the coronavirus situation)

Written by Kate • March 20, 2020 •
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School of fish in the Melbourne Aquarium As the coronavirus takes up more of social media and in our lives, a lot of people are finding themselves on their phones and in their apps a lot more than before. And a lot of the data and posts are of doom and gloom. This is a perfect storm and invitation for your mind to get stirred up and then addicted to the drama and danger being presented by the media, the stock market, by your friends.

This post is intended to help you remember that your brain is literally designed to focus on danger signals, that your brain makes up stories in the absence of an alternative narrative, and that you don’t have to believe your thoughts. I hope this post also helps you recognize when you’re in the middle of a thought storm and how to detach from it and to give you ideas about how to calm down and get centered despite what’s going on around you.

Remember that our brains are designed to focus on danger signals. That is how it saves our lives. But danger is supposed to be a short-lived experience, not a slow, long-winded, building tsunami of a disaster that lasts week or months. But with social media and the internet, we now can see the information coming from China long before the coronavirus officially arrived on our shores. The brain fixates and makes up stories about the danger. [Note, I’m not saying that there isn’t danger or that what is happening isn’t true- just that your brain is making up future stories for you to fear]. The stories your brain is making up, about how someone in family will get sick, you’ll lose your job, the economy will tank, and on and on. That MAY be true in the future. But it’s likely not true now. And worrying about a future that may or may not arrive keeps you out of calm, presence, and coming from a place of fear and lack rather than calm and clear.

You don’t have to believe your thoughts. The first step is detaching from your thoughts. Notice what is happening in your brain. What thoughts are compulsively coursing through your mental screen? There is a circumstance: the coronavirus is novel and is likely in your country and your locality. How you think about that is entirely up to you. On the one hand, you can think fearful thoughts and feel and act fearful. Or you can think calm thoughts and feel calm and peaceful.

As examples: fearful thoughts: the coronavirus is going to rampage through my country. Millions will die. The economy will tank. There’s no good options here. Resulting fearful emotions: ahhh, this is horrible and I have to do something so I’m going to spend all my time looking at the data for virus, buy more than I need to, and drink and eat too much to help me feel better about my scary thoughts and emotions.

Calm thoughts: the coronavirus is going spread through my country, like all countries. I will learn what I need to in this momentand know that sooner or later this will pass. And there is little about this I can control so I will accept what is, in this moment, in this moment, and in this moment. Resulting calm emotions: presence, loving acceptance of what is right now.

You can also use this time to learn about how your brain starts to engage your flight or fight system and how to detach from this state. The easiest way to understand how your brain and body are reacting is to notice your breath. Is your breath shallow and fast? Are you having a harder time than usual catching your breath?

If so, then take the time to deepen and length your breath. Breathe in deeply, perhaps to a count of 6 and then focus on lengthening the out breath, to perhaps a count of 8. Do this and feel the calm return. Keep doing it as often as is necessary.

For a few days, I’ve been buffering against my thoughts by being on social media a lot more than usual and binge watching Madame Secretary (which I’d never seen before). I caught the feeling of my brain swirling around faster and faster, like a rabid squirrel trying to get up all the trees at the same time. And the top of my skull feels hotter too, figuratively. Now that I’ve noticed this, I’ve put screen time controls on my phone and consciously spent time with my phone plugged in far from me. I can feel time slowing down, that I’m able to be much more present, and my attention span is almost a long as it has been in the past.I’ve also stopped drinking and eating to feel better. Crucially, I gave myself permission that a few days of getting used to our new normal is going to take a few days. With love and understanding, I allowed myself a few days to wallow and get a bit lost in the drama of the moment.

But I know it’s not profitable to wallow too long. Getting lost in the drama doesn’t help me be a better parent to my kids, a better partner, or make better choices about what to do with our free time. Walking in the woods, jigsaw puzzles, and finally learning to play the piano come to mind as better ways to spend the passing time.

No matter what situation you find yourself in, remember to be in that situation. Not one created by your mind about a near future that hasn’t yet come to pass. You’ll know that you’re creating a story about some imagined future because you’ll be stressed. True emergencies don’t evoke stories. In true emergencies, all you have is the moment . Believe in your power to effect change in the moment you have, which is to accept this moment, this moment, and this moment. Plan ahead as needed and then let it go.

Above all, be kind to yourself as you process changes. Blaming yourself or being cruel won’t help anyone. Keep detaching from your thoughts and breathing deeply, as necessary.