Posts Tagged ‘prayer’

Am I Doing It Right?- How To Pray

Written by Kate • January 3, 2012 •
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Prayer Candles

Prayer Candles- Photo Thanks to Barkaw

I, like so many people in the world, am a lapsed Catholic.  I’ve tried several times to rejoin the church but it just does not work for me. But this post isn’t really about that. I don’t really have the basic foundations from organized religion for prayer. Is that good? Or bad? Who can tell! But for someone like me, a Type A Virgo, I wanted to be sure I’m doing “it” “right”.  “It” being everything and “right” meaning the proper way.  So rather than turning inward and feeling my way through it to what feels right and sacred for me, when I first decided to pray, I decided that the best way to start was to google “how to pray” so I could get information from experts on how to pray properly.

Surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprising, I couldn’t find a decent article on the web that would guide a newbie spiritual person on how to pray that wasn’t oriented to specific prayers for specific problems from a specific faith. So I had to blaze my own path of meaningful prayer. I want to share with you some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way. I am, of course, no expert nor am I presenting the following as THE WAY to pray. Instead, if you are like me and would like some guidance as you start down your path, here are some of the most noteworthy lessons I’ve learned.

Here are the top 6 lessons I learned on creating a meaningful prayer practice:

1.  You have permission. You may be the type of person for whom this point doesn’t make sense. But there are a lot of us out there who feel bad about wanting some of the things we want.  But if you can’t be honest in your own prayer practice, just between you and your God, well, then pray for honesty and courage. Give yourself permission to pray for the wishes that are in your heart. If you want world peace,  include that in your prayer. If you want $1,000,000,000, include that. The point is that you can pray for anything that’s in your heart.  Don’t be shy about whether or not it’s worthy or appropriate to pray for something. The process will work itself it out. And just because you’re afraid to own what you feeling or think doesn’t make your desire any less real. So bring it into the light. It took me a few months to really plumb the depths of my heart for some of the ideas and dreams that I had put away. I had to work at accessing some of those wishes.  It’s still a process but some of my long stifled ideas and dreams are unfolding and I bring these to my prayer session.

2. By rote or spontaneity.  I started out with a few prayers that worked for me, including St. Francis’ prayer and a loving kindness prayer that has always worked for me. I also add in some of the recurring requests I have, including the lifting of all illusion and surrendering my will, each time. I also allow for new prayers to rise and be allowed. So today  I may prayer for courage and tomorrow for more discipline. Understand that your prayer is YOUR time and there is no “wrong” way to do it.

3. Some days you feel it and some you don’t. Some days my time spent in prayer feels quite sacred, intimate, and pretty much amazing. Other days, I just barely feel it and it feels like I’m just going through the motions. I’ve learned not to judge myself or the process. It is all good.  Just keeping practicing.

4. Make it a daily habit. I have found, through trial and error, that without a daily habit of praying, meaningful prayer just doesn’t happen.  So I have created a morning routine which means waking up earlier than most people and starting each day with my spiritual practice. Now, it’s so ingrained and helpful that I actually feel out of sorts with myself if I skip it.  So try getting up 10 minutes early and adding in 5 minutes of prayer. That’s all it takes to get started.  And once you’ve gotten the habit, begin tinkering with the length of time you sit in prayer.

5.  Make it real. Akin to point #1, permission, make it real. Praying by rote, including the same prayer pattern you’ve set up on a day to day basis, is a great way to start. And as you get more accustomed to praying, you’ll noticed that spaces will open in your heart and you’ll noticed new things about yourself and what it is that you really want in the world. Don’t be afraid to honor what it is that you’re being shown and what you’re feeling.

6. Remember to be grateful. I now start each prayer session on a note of gratitude that I am there in communion with God and with any recent lessons I’ve gotten.  I speak my gratitude aloud and by being in gratitude, it moves me into a better feeling place and it is a great place to be as I begin my prayers.  Gratitude for what you’ve received is an important element in feeling better and in acknowledging that your prayers have been answered, even if they’ve not been answered in the way you had been hoping.

What has been your experience? Do have a particular way to pray this working for you?

 

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