This Journey and My Intentions

Written by Kate • December 14, 2018 •
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I’ve reworked my blog over the past several weeks as a way to document my journey, both for myself and as a beacon for others who would like  a way sign to help them on their own journey to a more authentic life.

What are my intentions for the next year? I’m not using the word “goals” here because it feels to me that goals is very mentally oriented and this journey is meant to be lead by my heart.

  1. Eat whatever I like so long as I’m hungry when I start and stop when I’m full. This may seems like a simply idea to many of you but as someone who has let restrained eating and dieting fill up far too much of headspace for over 30 years, eating when I’m hungry and stopping when I’m full fills like a sigh of contentment. It feels peaceful and easy. It feels like I’ve come home. No more constant obsessing on when I’m eating, is this type of food ok, and then the awful feeling when I’ve eaten past fullness to feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And no dieting. No restrained eating choices.
  2. Meditate for an hour every day. I’ve been meditating for 30 minutes for about 18 months most days.  But now it feels like I’m just setting in at 30 minutes and moving closer to an hour will more fully center me.  I get to practice thoughts arising, allowing it, letting thoughts and emotions float across my mental screen and allowing that, or waking up from having attached to a mental thought or a feeling and allowing that too. My intention with an hour of daily meditation is to practice being present and allowing what is come up and fall away without attaching to the thoughts that parade across my mental screen. I can then take that practice into my every day life to become more adept at allowing all those thoughts throughout the day come up and fall away, also without attaching to them
  3. Healing my body of my pubic symphysis, plantar fasciitis, and general muscle tightness so that I can be more active with my young kids. As I mentioned before, my constant new beginnings with an exercise regime means injuries and disappointments and being side lined when my family goes on walks or bike rides.
  4. Most importantly, this journey is about stepping into the light and out of the shadows. Stepping up and allowing the Universe to flow through me and creating a vibrant, joyful life that feels big, feels right, and feels authentic. This means creating a daily schedule that supports all of these four points. It means telling the truth even when it’s uncomfortable. And most especially it means following the still, soft voice that seems like it’s God’s/the Universe and guides me so that I’m in the flow and the glorious mystery of a purpose-filled life.

 

To that end, I weighed myself this morning to establish where it is I’m starting from.  I think baselining here at the beginning and see where I am when my life feels more authentic and bigger and more fulfilling. But it’s not about weight loss or inches lost per se. It’s about eating to satiety and no farther. It’s about eating sugar and fat and yum and never eating a rice cake like food again. I want to live big and eat for nutrition AND for pleasure. And we’ll see what the effects are on my body from there. I want to love my body through yummy food and respectful choices. This is definitely not about hating myself thin and muscling my way through eating “healthy” or “clean”.  It is about eating as my directs, not how my mind wants.

I’ll figure out a way to post pics and measurements at a later date, if that feels right.

As for meditating, healing my body, and stepping into the light, I’ll be posting on those separately too in ways that hopefully make it clear about what is supporting me on this journey.

 

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